Good Night, Daddy

My last posting that was published dealt with my next trip to Toronto. I should be arriving back in Raleigh in just a few minutes from now. The trip never happened. Instead, I arrived back from my Mom's in Virginia around 8:30 tonight.

As some of you may know, my father had been ill recently. I started a post that I haven't yet finished on Tuesday relating that my father had died. I will eventually finish it, along with many more. I have so much to relate. I'll try to seperate it into seperate postings and not fill this one too full. For now, though, I feel the need to put into writing something that happened Friday evening. It doesn't have any significance in the scheme of things, but for some reason, it sticks with me more than any of the other events surrounding my father's death.

My father's funeral was held on Friday at 2PM with burial immediately afterward. I cried a little during the service. I don't usually cry in public, so I guess my efforts to be more in touch with my emotions, and to be more honest with them, must be working some. Again, I got a little choked up at the graveside service, but I was a bit out of it by then. Numb, really. After the service, I visited with people that were there. The funeral home took us on home, and many aunts, cousins, nieces, nephews, etc all joined my sisters, Mom and me at my parent's home. Some of my friends also joined us, but more on that later.

After everyone was gone, my Mom, sisters Kathy and Debbie, and I went back to the graveyard so that Kathy and I could take pictures of the flowers. I did a bit of silent communication to my Dad at the same time. It was more of meditation and reconciliation within myself, honestly, than it was actual conscious communication to him. There was no real consciousness to any of it. It was extremely windy, and as a result, bitterly cold. My Mom succumbed first, and returned to my SUV to wait, followed by Debbie. Finally, Kathy went back toward the SUV and I started to follow. As I walked past where I imagined the head of the coffin to lie, it just came out. "Good night, Daddy. Sleep well."